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Gaslighting and coercive control are both types of bullying. It is important to understand the meaning of these terms so that you can recognise it when it occurs. To coincide with Anti-Bullying Week 2021, this blog will highlight how bullies use gaslighting and coercive control to manipulate and abuse others.
What is Gaslighting?
Gaslighting manipulation is used by abusive individuals to control another person. In simple terms, it is a form of psychological abuse where an individual makes someone question their sanity by playing tricks with their memory and perception of reality. People who experience gaslighting often feel anxious, confused and unable to trust their own judgement. It can be quite insidious and is not easy to spot. The target may question if it is actually occurring at all. An example of gaslighting is where a partner uses abusive behaviour, but then completely denies anything ever happened. This is why there is a link between gaslighting and emotional manipulation. They manage to convince the target that the abuse is all in their head.
What is Coercive Control?
Coercive control is a pattern of behaviour that is used to frighten, punish or harm the target. These acts include threats, humiliation, intimidation and even assault. Coercive control is a common form of bullying in abusive relationships. It includes jealousy, financial control, possessiveness and isolating an individual from friends and family. It is vital to notice the signs of a controlling person which include:
- Constant criticism
- Disrespecting boundaries
- Always causing drama
- Blaming everyone else
- Intimidation
- Moodiness and sulking
If you find yourself in a situation or relationship where you notice the signs of gaslighting or coercive control, you need to take steps to leave. These types of behaviours are extremely damaging. Make sure you maintain communication with your family and support system. Avail of online support and helplines. Devise a safety plan and practise how you will put it into action if necessary. Nobody should tolerate such abusive behaviour.
Bullying Resources
Bullying — A Complete Approach
Contains hints and tips for teachers, parents and young people to enable them to identify and tackle bullying.
- Age range: 12 years and upwards
- Category: Schools
- Published: 1999
- Last revised: 2022
- Pages: 94
Bullying in the Workplace
This pack provides guidance for companies on tackling workplace bullying, supporting the targets of bullying and ensuring the wellbeing of staff.
- Category: Business
- Published: 2020
- Last revised: 2022
- Pages: 50
Bullying Lesson Plans
Bullying and Cyberbullying
This lesson plan covers how to deal with bullying and cyberbullying and contains handouts for the classroom.
- Age range: 12 years and upwards
- Category: Schools
- Published: 2019
- Last revised: 2021
- Pages: 15
Bullying
This covers bullying, the types of bullying, the bully, the target and how to tackle bullying.
- Age range: 12 years and upwards
- Category: Schools
- Published: 2019
- Last revised: 2021
- Pages: 13
Playground Bullying
A lesson plan on playground bullying, the issues caused and addressing the topic.
- Age range: 12 years and upwards
- Category: Schools
- Published: 2022
- Pages: 17
Free Bullying Resources
Anti-Bullying Policy For Workplaces
A free template to help you develop your own anti-bullying policy for your workplace.
- Category: Business
- Pages: 8
Free Download
Anti-Bullying Policy For Schools
A free template to help you develop your own anti-bullying policy for your school.
- Category: Schools
- Pages: 8
Free Download
Targets of Bullying
This free download covers what a bully is and the targets of bullying. See our resource pack 'Bullying — A Complete Approach' for a more comprehensive discussion on bullying, including worksheets, activities and lessons.
- Category: Schools
- Pages: 6
Free Download